Thursday, January 19, 2012

Crossroads








This is the tale of my journey of life. As I sit here writing all of my heart out, some may find this story resembles their own. Some may find it just as another tale. Along the journey saw  different kinds of people. People with beautiful smiles, sad people, happy people, people who look worried and people with interesting qualities. Some were genuine some have been fake.
Though at times it is hard to go on. An inner voice keeps me up and keep me going. Too often I have tried and too often I have failed. It is just like one of those days where I would want just to lie down on my bed, close my eyes, switch off my phone and forget about this world. These things are just my wishes but it is not something easy to do as said. Responsibility of family keeps pushing me. Telling me never to quit.
My son all grown up but still a child in my eyes. Looking for work is what he does these days. As his mom I do wish him success. Carried away in the thought of life. Let just go back to the tale of life. I am a single mom. In a relationship with someone more in my imagination than in real. Feeling all that women feel, but hardly able to achieve any of it. Hoping things would change. Hoping tomorrow would make it easy. Maybe the right time hasn’t come yet. Maybe haven’t made the right choice. All questions which just needs answers.
As I was someone looking for a life, was so glad to have him by my side. With high hopes and believing every word he said. Thought this time things would be different. Believed I’ve had the time of my life. Things was going smooth as planned. Maybe for him but not for me. I had my dreams, I had my hopes. I had the desire to be his bride. As days passed. Things started to clear up. Only to find I was head over heels in luv with a guy who is already taken. Taken for granted.
Then came the phase where I knew where I stand. As he explained the tale of his life. I was wondering where this was going. I had nothing to say, nowhere to go and no one beside. All alone though he was there. Still I am hoping for more. He had his reason and reason only he knows. I tried my best to live pass the test. Once again took the path to where I want to be..
Days and months went by. Still together and still the same. Few times came up where thing started to change. A better change so I thought. Felt special and felt at ease.  

To be continued....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You can close your eyes from the things you don’t want to see but you can never close your heart from the things you don’t want to feel....goood luck dear....

Shim said...

Hoping tomorrow would make it easy.

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